April 9, 2015.
If there is anything I’ve learned since being at Gordon it’s
how to be a thinker, an open-minded, passionate thinker.
I never thought I was a closed-minded person. I never
thought I was a closed-minded person, that is, until I realized I was becoming
an open-minded person. I used to see the world through a very narrow scope. I
only saw what I wanted to see, and once I made my mind up about something there
was no chance of changing it. I had tunnel vision about this world, about our
God, about my faith. I had tunnel vision and it was shutting me out to not only
the world beyond my limited view, but to relationships that could thrive from
the sharing and conversing about differing opinions. I used to be weak in my
narrow-mindedness, but now I’ve been made strong in my own convictions in a way
that is malleable, shapeable, and shifting. I’ve begun to see the world more
broadly, understand it more widely, and seek it more passionately. And I owe
that to the classes I’ve taken, the professors I’ve interacted with, the things
I’ve been involved in, and people I’ve spent time with during my days here.
Thinking back on my academic career at Gordon I realize my
appreciation for a liberal arts education. I might not remember dates I once
had memorized for Historical Perspectives, nor will I necessarily remember
which Philosopher said what in quotes I used to write an Examined Life paper,
but what I will remember is the way that both of those classes made me rethink
about the world. The way they exposed me to ideas, cultures, histories, worlds
beyond and before mine. The way I was shown what faith looked like in a time
before technology, and how I learned about various human social groups in
different parts of the world. I’m thankful for the classes I’ve taken that took
me back or over or around to different parts of the world in a different day in
age. I’m thankful for the opportunity to study diversely and widely without
even stepping foot off my campus.
My professors and staff here at Gordon have also pivotally
shaped me. Some I’ve connected with and other I haven’t but either way impacted
in some way or another. I remember taking an elective class my second semester
freshman year. I took Introduction to Human Movement and my professor talked so
much about worldview. His passion for worldview really began my passionate
pursuit of the idea. In the same way, my passions have been ignited by the
various passions of those I’ve worked with, whether it is a Comm professor
instilling a passion for storytelling, a creative writing professor imparting a
passion for the English language and the interplay of words, a spiritual mentor
passing on a desire for spiritual disciplines, or an RD drawing out a desire
for continual study in higher education, the faculty and staff I’ve worked with
and under have refocused my narrow mind onto a much broader track, one that
allows room for conflicting and challenging ideas to work with my own
convictions.
But my time at Gordon hasn’t been limited to purely academic
pursuits. Gordon has provided me the opportunity to explore my interests in so
many ways beyond the classroom. Through the ability to lead a Spiritual Life
Group I was able to learn from leaders and peers the benefit of spiritual disciplines,
of fostering communities and safe places conducive for vulnerability and
honesty, things I’d never really taken the time to consider before. My
worldview was broadened so practically in terms of what daily faith looks like
truly lived out. Most tangibly my entire scope has been shattered when I went
to Haiti. Or perhaps, when I recognized within myself a calling to go to Haiti.
It’s crazy, really, because one of the things I was most rigid towards, one of
the things I was most afraid of, was missions. It wasn’t that I just didn’t
feel a particular calling to missions, for me I almost resented missions for
reasons so superficial I can’t bear them here, but I was hardened to the idea
of being a missionary for Christ. But one January morning in 2012 I awoke with
a need to go on a mission trip. A little over a year later I was on the plane
to Haiti. Through all of my pre-trip preparation and obviously through the trip
itself I was broken, broken, broken. I was shattered, my resentment destroyed
under a heavy fist, like cement under a mallet, shards shooting out and turning
to dust. I was left completely as rubble. But man did I learn. And now I’ve a
passion in me for Haiti, missions, and the work of Christ that I’d never known
could even exist. But more than that, Gordon has shown me what it means to be a
missionary in my own home, in my own town. I’ve learned that mission work
doesn’t need to be in a foreign place or a 3rd world country, but it
can start as locally as your own community. I wrestle with the idea that I
didn’t invest enough during my time at Gordon, but I’m beginning to see so
clearly that the things I did invest in invested so fully in me.
But it’s through the people I’ve met, sat with, lived with,
done life with, that I’ve learned the most about what it means to have an
open-mind and a softened heart. Through arguments and times of extreme
resentment and hate I’ve learned what it truly looks like to love, to extend
grace, and to act with patience. I’ve been challenged to think about my true
purpose here on earth when so many times I ask “why” if Heaven is the world
we’re made for. I’ve been stretched to think about people differently, to see
them more equally, to love them more authentically. I’ve been shown the beauty
in discovering and uncovering story, whether it be my own or that of another.
I’ve had conversation about faith and science, faith and politics, faith and
brokenness. I’ve heard sermons on relationships and redemption, trial and
trouble. I’ve never before seen so many facets of the world, allowing my ears
to be opened to the sometimes vastly differing opinions, beliefs, and
convictions of my peers. I’ve allowed my heart to be softened to the handiwork
of Christ in me. I’ve been given the space to take what I’ve heard and process
it in my own way at my own time and start to craft my own convictions of this
complex world. Every conversation, every sermons, every lecture, has allowed me
to learn, to grow passionate, to find beauty in simply seeking a better
understanding.
So like I’ve said, I don’t remember everything I learned in
Old Testament, and I sure as heck don’t remember everything I learned in
Scientific Enterprise. I’ll probably forget most of the facts, most of the
dates, most of the names, but that’s okay with me. Because numbers and names
aren’t what this thing is about. No, this is about learning how to learn, how
to think critically about the world and its inhabitants. It’s about becoming a
participative member in not only society but in the Kingdom. It’s about
becoming an agent for Christ, an agent of Shalom (The Great Conversation). It’s
about opening your ears, your heart, your eyes, your mind, your palm, and
absorbing the world around us in all of its diversity, complexity and
brokenness. It’s crazy what you miss when you’re too busy defending your own
thoughts and ideas. I’m so thankful for my education and I’m so thankful for
the person Gordon, and all Gordon has to offer, has shaped me to be. . I never
thought I was a closed-minded person, that is, until I began to see the world a
little more broadly.
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