5.21.2015

Graduation Rumination XIX - Living in Limbo

May 21, 2015.

I’ve been a college graduate for 5 full days. I’ve been an unemployed college grad for just as many. I never thought that I wouldn’t enjoy these days, the ones where I go to bed without setting an alarm, wake up anytime I want, and spend the day reading or watching Netflix or taking my dogs out to play. I never thought this kind of life was one I could grow tired of in just five days. In fact, I’ve always sacrificed any kind of summer income for these lazy, hazy days. But a lot of me wonders if it’s not the days themselves I dislike, but the idea that they’re serving as simply a filler, a time of limbo where I can’t really commit to anything until I figure out my future. These days are so different, so new, so unknown, unlike any days I’ve ever lived before.

I’ve always known what was next. I’m a planner. I like to live by a schedule; it keeps my anxiety at bay. I’ve always known another school year awaited me in the fall, or parents were eager for me to return home to babysit their children in the summers. But now I don’t have any of that. I don’t have any set plans except for a possible job I’m waiting to hear back about, a dream job of sorts that I’d sacrifice nearly anything for. But until I hear back I can’t commit to replanting my roots here in Connecticut. Because if I do and then I’m called away, well, then what? I’d have to sever those baby roots just as they began to take hold in the soil. But on the other hand, I can’t just sit around doing nothing while I wait to hear if for some reason someone saw more potential in me than the other six candidates I’m up against. Because those chances aren’t necessarily in my favor and if I find out a few weeks from now I don’t have a job in Massachusetts then I’ve wasted so much time around here. So what are these days for besides waiting?

The tough part about the waiting game is the inability to commit. I’ve always been a commitment person. I don’t like breaking commitments, and in a sense, I commit in order to plan and schedule. People keep asking me things like, “are you going to Florida to visit your grandfather in July?” “Are you excited for your trip to Block Island?” “Do you want to go to a Needtobreathe concert with me in New York in August?” And I keep telling them the same thing, “I don’t know, I guess I have to just wait to see about jobs.” I mean, what other answer can I give them? I’m not trying to sound like I’m entitled to have it all figured out. And I’m not even trying to say that this is some unfortunate situation I’ve found myself in. Everyone goes through this time of limbo at some point or another, heck, some people never fully find their way out of it. I’m just thankful for 21 and a half years without it, not everyone gets that. So I’m in no way trying to sound spoiled about this, this isn’t some, “woe is me” cry because I, just like everyone else, can’t make fun plans because of work (or the prospect of it, at least). I’m just trying to cope with the lack of control I’m experiencing.

I suppose this season is one that will teach me to be more flexible, more malleable. I tend to get a little too rigid, a little to structured. I suppose this season is one that will grow me into a more patient person. I tend to be a little more impatient than most. Maybe I’ll become more capable of enduring long periods of unknowns. Maybe I’ll be to adapt to changing circumstances. In some way or another I know God is growing me and maturing me through this. I just didn’t realize how desperately uneasy I’d be. My appetite isn’t the same, my stomach is in knots, and I feel oddly lethargic. It’s as if every bit of my normally peppy disposition has been drained and replaced with the character of a student mid finals week. I can’t say I saw this much unease coming, but I can tell you it’s not all that fun…

…but the waiting game is never fun. It’s never ideal. It’s never something people long for, especially me. But I’ve got to hear back sooner or later about this job. If I get it I’ll be elated. If I don’t, well I have a back up plan – one that includes taking a few months to just relax, so that isn’t half bad. But until then, until I know for sure either way, I’ll wait, as patiently as I can, and endure living in limbo. Maybe I can even learn to enjoy it. Maybe I can learn to find beauty in these days that don't seem to matter much more than their waiting, because in reality, they do matter. And even though I don't have it all figured out, that's okay, it's just a part of the journey.


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