Safety of Complacency

I often find myself seeking the safety of complacency. I tend to do whatever’s comfortable, whatever’s easy. I live on habitual action. Familiarity is my fuel, routine is my refuge, and consistency is my comfort. I navigate through life the way I would my childhood home, knowing the texture of the wallpaper lining the walls, the feel of the ground as it changes from tile to carpet, turning as the hallways bend, where the silverware drawer is, where to get a glass, where the flower pots go, where the floor is stained from a spill. I can predict the plan of my days long in advance. I can map it out on paper like the route to my favorite ice cream stand. The roads of my days are familiar, I know the way like the back of my hand. I don’t easily go with the flow, I am reluctant to change plans, and I’m weary of the unknown of the day to day. I avoid anything that could easily change or that can’t be predicted or planned.

But something I’ve come to realize, is that no matter how many plans I make, no matter how many maps I draw, no matter how routine I make my life, no matter how many obstacles I avoid, I’m still left feeling empty. I guess that’s the trade off for living a life of comfort and ease. Sure I know what I’ll be doing next Tuesday, but what’s the point if it’s unfulfilling? What’s the point of having it all planned out if it’s for no ones gain? I suck the spontaneity out of life. I drain the bones of life of their marrow and leave it weak and crumbling. What’s the point of living a life of comfort, always distancing yourself from the edge, never pushing yourself to explore this world we inhabit and those who inhabit it? What can anyone gain from complacency? Instead of seeking comfort in the familiar, I should seek joy and adventure in the unfamiliar. I should run to the edges of the world and then go ten steps farther out. I should start conversations with those who I don’t know, I should help those who need, I should discover, discover, discover. I should break down the walls of this house I’ve lived in my whole life, I should begin rebuilding the path God has laid out for me. I should begin to dive into the world for all it has to offer, even if it means a lack of stability and structure. It takes sacrifice, oh sure it does, but the reward is infinitely greater than any reward I could gain from sitting in the same spot all my life.

[alc]